Frank Petronio photographer


Sometimes I fall into a purity spiral and censor myself. Sometimes people think the worst and I get that (they’re idiots). This was fun, she’s a lovely person… put the sound up!

Feet and Activity

Scheduled hammer toe surgery for the end of February followed by about three months of recuperation. Won’t be able to drive until April. As I get older I need to stay active but pain limits how much I can do so it’s a struggle to juggle the trade offs. I’m pretty weak right now, three months on my ass won’t help, but hopefully fixing my toe pain will allow me to be more active in the future. Another ski season that’s shit, I can barely walk as it is. 

Look What I Got

After Idaho I realized that I’m either shooting my 35 or 85mm Milvus most of the time so I decided to go back to a 50mm Milvus for all of the time (I did this through most of 2017 too). I also got good images from my restored 1932 Leica II with its 50/3.5 Elmar so I’m entrenched in the normal prime 50mm camp for a while. 

Reluctantly selling my second D850 body and the 35/1.4 and 85/1.4 Milvii. And my drone and GoPro and some old lighting gear and whatever else I haven’t been using lately. Not that I need the last dollar from any of this but I like the clarity of simplicity ;-p Or some other bullshit. I can always buy or rent more when the need arises. Honestly I feel kind of naked with only one pro body and lens but nothing I’m doing is so critical at the moment. This is from a guy who will take two shots and stitch rather than buy a wide angle lens. 

Bought a new tiny Nikon Z50 with the collapsing kit lens. It’s a jacket pocket sized plasticy camera that seems to perform quite well, probably not a lifetime purchase but a good user that I can’t wait to take skiing! 

Also figured out the Godex flash system and got four flashes and two remote controls, I’m impressed at what’s possible with their latest stuff. I know they are cheap compared to the Euro brands but again, not doing anything that would require a ProFoto kit at 10x the cost. Being able to take battery powered flashes and shoot in bright sun with full control ~ cordlessly ~ is pretty cool. 

Torture by Pixels

Retouching you is torture. 

My Cursor Tool (precise, cross-hairs) caresses your body like my fingers have never been allowed to…. 

Nothing gives me more pleasure than to have my Soft Brush stroke your skin (Hex CC9966), which is so radiant when assigned the proper Adobe RGB (1998) Profile. But we’re Posterized. The Histogram is wack. We need to adjust our Saturation and Levels. Your Curves are just fine but if we don’t choose a new Vector Path we’re doomed. I want to use the Lasso Tool and the Magic Wand to Duplicate your Channels without any Masking. We need to Blend our Layers using the Linear Burn Mode – no more more of the Difference and Exclusion Modes! 

I’m sorry Honey, but we need to get back to our high-resolution 16-bit goodness. We can flow around our Feathered Selection with a big soft-edged 999-pixel Healing Brush set to 100% Opacity, 100% Flow. Then we can use the History Brush to make things right again. Heck, we can always Revert if necessary. But alas, right now we’re apart, distant, we need some low radius, high threshold Unsharp Masking to Equalize our relationship. We need to run Noise Reduction on our Luminance Channel, and maybe even Despeckle too.

Without you I’m living in the Blue Channel anyways…. I can’t Desaturate my longing for you, we’re at the 255 Threshold and things are no longer just Black and White – now they’re Greyscale. And I want us to be Warm Sepia Duotones. We need to remove the JPG Artifacts and cut out the Gaussian Blur from our vision. Clear our Cache and do a “Save As”. You’re in my EXIF Metadata and you punch all my Keywords. We need to Interpolate. I care about you so much – we should just head to Vegas and do the final CMYK Conversion (US Web Coated (SWOP) v20). We can spend our honeymoon watching the Ocean Ripple Filter (and save the Twirl, Wave, and ZigZag filters for romping!) Think of our future children – imagine our sweet little ones – .JPG, .EPS, .PNG, and .PICT (our very own special needs kiddo!) You have such a great heart! (and demand so much RAM!) 

I dream about you in Full Screen Mode (no menu bar even!) with the Burn tool active and on Multiply Mode. 



PS: Don’t go Exporting yourself or doing Cutting and Pasting with another File or I’ll Slice you into GIF Animations and tell people that you started out as Indexed Color. And please, even if you do break up with me, don’t go sRGB on me. Those mixed marriages never work. PSS: That sounded harsh and kind of crazy. I need to Repair My Permissions but for now let’s just do a Command-Z. Peaceout lovely lady, I can’t wait to Click and Zoom into your sweet 100% Pixel Depth real soon. You PSD me © 2009 Frank Petronio

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